Knowing HIM

When people ask me about God, my answer always refer to HIM as a Father.

Why God creates Man? He is a Father who wants a child so HE can love, nurture and interact with...

Why does God allow sin? A father allows his child to make mistakes to learn.

Why does the bible specifically state those who do not follow HIM will not see heaven? How can a father give HIS inheritance to a child who has acknowledged the father's enemy as his own father.

Yet I'd never describe my walk as conscientious, neither disciplined. At best, it'd be emotional, erratic... temperamental even...

I've always been taught that with talents, comes expectations. I have received blessings and opportunities in ministry, some which I have kept better than others, yet none with a soldier-like steadfast-ness. I'd rather things move at a somewhat free, creative, uncontrolled, unrestricted and possibly lazy kinda pace. To me, it's always about LOVE LOVE LOVE... never about WORK WORK WORK.

I just had a revelation about HIM tho that the Father is one who disciplines as well. Being an advocate of the saying "spare the rod, spoil the child", I realised I had never treated my spiritual Father as someone who will discipline me to help me grow. I have never feared Him... I'm the spoilt child who is stubborn, rebellious and prideful. I aspire to be the atypical Christian girl, instead of being a studious, demure Christian graduate, I chose to become an almost tomboyish, hokkien-spouting speed addict, with a love for rock, jazz & fast cars...

I had many experiences of being touched by Him when I am lonely, being healed by Him when I'm hurt, being inspired by Him when I was demotivated... and yet... it was all about LOVE LOVE LOVE, never about me fearing HIM as my Father who would discipline me, because He loves me.

This coming trip, I've been assigned to share about the HS... it's a challenge to me, the huge responsibility to make sure that everything I say is biblically-based... no longer a topic I can "smoke" through...

I'm feeling stressed & moody... and perhaps this is HIS way, of "forcing me" to do something I hate, something I cannot do on my own... so all I can do, is to either choose obedience, or suffer ignorance...

Well then, the choice seems obvious...